First Day of School

You know....that God of ours sure knows what He is doing!

If I was still in my old job, I probably would have missed this....

or this....

or this and this.....

Thank you God, for knowing so much more than I do.  Thank You for guiding my journey of motherhood and always leading me in Your way.

It was a pretty fantastic first day of school!!  WOO HOO!

Distraction....

Oh! Distraction!

It is where I'm at.

I'm at a crossroads. God is giving me plenty of time to think it through.

And boy am I thinking!

My poor brain cannot stop.

I toss and turn. Even wine fails to do it's job. One glass is not enough. More than one is probably too much.

What if? That is not the question these days.

Is God in charge of this? That is the question.

Is God leading me? Am I following?

Is this His will or simply my lowly earthly ideas of what is next in life?

Is this His Purpose? Is this His preparation?

UGH! There are no answers yet. It must be faith. Faith is what has lead us through other shadowing valleys. Faith is what we have leaned on when we had no answer from ourselves. Faith is our strength. Faith is our crutch. Faith is our wheelchair. It carries us forward. It allows us to sit there, wallowing in indecision. The answers will possibly, boldly, present themselves in time. Then we will be able to say it is meant to be. Until then, we allow our Faith to carry us, together, through the process.

How does one know?

Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions ~

Rainer Maria Rilke

There is much angst in my heart right now.

Someone asked me a question about a week ago, of which I have no answer for right now.

I have prayed for guidance. It is not quite there.

I have prayed for knowledge. I'm still not sure.

I have prayed for understanding. I understand but still wonder.

It is not a bad thing. I don't believe. But when opportunities or questions or circumstances come into your life, how do you know?

I have this wonderful group of new friends in a small study group at church. They are walking through this with me. We study about faith. We discuss miracles and whether or not we see God in everything. Because He is, you know. In Everything.

So I believe that He is here. And He is taking me to this crossroad. I'm just not certain which road it is that He is leading me. I'm anxiously awaiting the burning bush. But so far, only a little smoke.

So again, I pray.

I wait.

I listen.

And when I choose, I believe that He will be there too.

About God

Big Boy asked me over dinner last night, "Mama, does God sleep?"

After several moments to take it in, I answered "No. He's always awake so he can answer our prayers any time of the day."

Big Boy ponders that one for a moment and replies, "Then is he like us?"

"No" I answered, "He's God. He's not human. He is so much more."

This got him really thinking. "So does he have legs?"

"Yes."

"Does He have arms?"

"Yes."

"Does He have toes and fingers?"

"Yes. God has all his limbs." I say. At this point, I'm stumped. We go on to discuss that he may look like us humans but he is God. That means He is capable of much more than we are. The rest of the conversation was about how God is there for us, but He is not like us. He is Almighty. He is Everlasting. He is Most Powerful.

Quite a conversation with a 4-year-old inquisitive mind.

And one that reminds me that this Mama job is still the best gig I'll ever have.

No words

Because there are no words when you lose a child.

Because there are no words when the call comes to tell you the news.

Because there are no words to comfort the grieving mother who's just watched her son take his last breath.

Because there are no words that will replace his wild curls and his mischevious grin.

Because there are no words to reassure those that life will continue on, that you will smile again, that you will eventually not be consumed with this awful grief.

There are words not spoken by us, but written by Him. Those are the only words.

Jesus said to his disciples: 'Do not let your hearts be troubled. Believe in God, believe also in me. In my Father's house there are many dwelling places. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, so that where I am, there you may be also. And you know the way to the place where I am going.' Thomas said to him, 'Lord, we do not know where you are going. How can we know the way?' Jesus said to him, 'I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.'

John 14.1-6

Praise Him In This Storm

Praise You In This Storm lyrics

I was sure by now
That You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry
You raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find You

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth

Jarin DeWayne Janey

July 28, 1991 - July 30, 2009

Please don't drink and drive, and certainly don't get in vehicles with others that have been drinking.

Please forgive me....

For being absent. I'm actually not. Absent that is.

Just BUSY! Like, barely any time to sit down, busy.

Working n' taking kids to swim lessons, playdates with long-lost friends, more swim lessons, applying to grad school---AGAIN(!!), swimming for fun and practice, laundry....ugh! Life has taken over again!


I'll beg forgiveness and leave you with this---I've got some great trashy treasure. Believe it or not, in the busy-ness of life, I did get to some great little yard sales and found some wonderful trashy treasures.


One of the best items I scored? This!

The boys love the Veggie Tales movies! And this one has been a hit---for $2!!! I love that it reinforces wonderful values and they love and get, all the great humor in it as well.

Now, lest you think that all I do is reinforce video teaching, I'll back off the videos for a bit. I've got MUCH more wonderful things to be showing soon.

Wonderful little trashy, treasure-y things. WOOT! Check back in a couple of days!

Easter via a 4 year old...

When we go to church and the kids come to the service with us (instead of Sunday School), we always let them put the tithe in the plate. We call it "Jesus money". So, this morning, while in church, both boys got their "Jesus Money" to put into the plate when it was passed. Here is how that went down....

"Here, honey, put the money into the plate when it comes. This is our Jesus money for this week"...Mama says.

Big Boy replies...."OK. Jesus is dead, right?"

"Well yes, He died but today he is Risen and goes to heaven", I reply.

Big Boy...."Yeah, Jesus is dead and then the Easter Bunny saved him".


There you have it....



And here are some pics of the gifts that the Easter Bunny left for the boys...baseball equipment and skates! Lots of fun for all!



That last pic is Big Boy feeding the birds...or squirrels, whichever comes first. Protective equipment is optional...

Hope you all have a Blessed Easter day!

His Plan....

It happened so quickly and within a moment, it was gone. But we are supposed to recognize, aren't we? That nothing is without His plan. Nothing happens randomly. It is His plan. Nothing is pure circumstance. It is His plan. Nothing is without His Hands, guiding and redirecting, swerving and moving them to the left and to the right. Leaving the stranded, broken vehicle in the middle of the busy interstate. Giving the driver several more precious moments to move it out of the lane of traffic. He moved the semi-truck moments before it slammed violently into the back of the car, certainly leaving little but fatal tragedy in it's wake. I watched it with my own eyes. I watched as the cars jeered left and right, away from the stranded vehicle that held my loved ones. They were a mere hundred yards away but they may have easily been a hundred miles. I could not reach them. I could not touch them. I could not protect them from sitting in the middle of the mess. Only He could. Only He did. It was mere moments before thoughts were gathered, a plan devised and we were able to get the broken car out of the lanes of traffic. And then the tears of relief. The overwhelming sense of near tragedy. The recognition that it was not their time. It was not their time. It was not His plan. It was His plan. It was His plan. It was His plan. Thank you Great Father. Thank you. Thank. You.

The Season of Lent

We attended a wonderful Ash Wednesday service last evening. The boys truly enjoy their Bible study playgroup and they really do leave there with new knowledge of Christ. It's so fun to talk to them about what they learn--out of the mouths of babes come the truest and most honest young views of our Lord and Savior.

As for the service, we were asked to write three things on a place piece of paper upon entering the church. We were to write a sin we have committed against God, a sin we have committed against our neighbor and a sin we have committed against ourselves. Then we folded our papers and upon approaching the alter for our ashes, dropped the papers into a basket. The pastor took the papers, still folded and gathered many together. Then he drove a nail through them and nailed them on a wooden cross laying beside the alter. Wow--how powerful was that! What a sight when he raised the cross at the conclusion of the service, with papers nailed to all areas of the cross and talked about how Christ died to SAVE US FROM THESE SINS. How the Almighty gave his only Son so that we could be forgiven for these transgressions. They were taken from us and placed upon the cross. It makes me weep, just the thought. That no matter what we wrote, no matter the sin, no matter the error in our ways, we are forgiven and are given the blessing of a relationship with Him anyway.

This one act has done so much to help me to step into the season of Lent in another way this year. It is a picture burned into my mind and will not be soon forgotten.